Solar Heart Initiation

The title of this essay sounds symbolic -  but when properly understood,  the Uncreated Light/Sun  signifies  the descent of  Divine Truth.  In Sri Aurobindo's  (for-me-verifying) words:
The sun is the symbol of Divine Truth, it stands universally for the supramental Light, the divine Gnosis.  + It is the symbol of power of the inner or higher Truth.
I had many types of  'Initiatory  encounters' with the Supramental Light,  this is why I can only unpack a portion of how that happened to me in one sitting.
The ability to experience Ultimate Reality lies at the very heart of mystical experience.  .   .
It is how we discover  (as first-hand experience)  the importance of Soul level  Initiations.
 In this blog I  describe what my journey through Light and Sound was like for me -  with the Intention it may be of service to someone who is serious about Soul level evolution into wholeness and transcendence.
Gopi Krishna asserted:
The illumined person must be able to write what he has experienced and make that writing available to the world. + No one can describe the superconscious state unless one he has the experience of it. This is the most decisive sign to judge whether a man is enlightened or not. He must be able to give a description  of the superconcious state in words which are inspiring and which have an originality of their own.
Aurobindo said the same thing:
It is the descent of new consciousness attained by the ascent that is the stamp and seal of the Sadhana.  Because the object sought after is not an individual achievement of divine realization for the sake of the individual, but something to be gained for earth-consciousness here, a cosmic, not solely a supra-cosmic achievement. The thing to be gained also is bringing in of Power of Consciousness (the supramental) not yet organized and made directly active.

This is not about flaunting one's 'magnificence'. . .such notion is completely foreign to me - foreign to any genuine mystic -  because it comes from egoic conception.  It has nothing to do with 'boasting' ,  but rather about sharing spiritual wisdom with the Intention that it would help mankind on its path to Divine consciousness.  .  .It is about presenting  empirical evidence which introduces itself to the awareness of one's eternal self-Soul.
One of the more intense experiences took place on an auspicious day in the Christian calendar, so  naming this particular Initiatory Event was about  affirming what actually happened.
                                                                    <><><><>
I was genuinely surprised when I heard on the news  that  January 6th was Epiphany Day. I never knew there was such a day in the Christian tradition - and wouldn't care in the least   if  at dawn I didn't receive the most blessed Solar Heart Initiation.  I recognized the significance of this Initiation and decided to see how epiphany is described. . .
From http://www.reference.com/browse/Epiphany
"Christian festival celebrated on January 6.  One of the oldest Christian holy days."
"In the Eastern Church the waters are blessed on this day. The word epiphany means a manifestation, usually of divine power".
                                                             *
Description of what happened when my Soul beheld  the Light of her Source  and my reaction.
With the eye of contemplation  I/Soul  beheld the most breathtaking  panorama. .  when I looked up  I beheld  the Sun's  eye-dazzling brilliance in full awareness of  its  'Uncreated  Sun's'   significance.  The instant I acknowledged its significance the  Sun's Essence (Divine) began its towards-me descent - when it reached my chest it morphed into large crystal-clear sphere and entered my being with a loud burst-like sound.  .  . Now awake in this dimension my bliss-filled self  kept chanting "Oh my God! oh my God!" - tears of gratitude sealed the deal.

* Edit adding quote I chanced upon  after edit-improving this post (April 2019):
Our souls should be like a transparent crystal through which God can be perceived.
- Saint Hildegard of Bingen
* Edit adding link to in 2013 penned, Cosmic Synchronicity Confirmation - years before I saw Hildegard's saying.
www.spiritspeaks-theofilia.blogspot.ca/2013/08/cosmic-synchronicity-confirmation.html

One of the earliest appearances of the Supramental Sun/Light was witnessed in 1990, by my frightened husband. . .Who told me that for several minutes my head  "was like the sun, and I couldn't see you" - during one of my passionate 'discussions' about the nature of REAL TRUTH and BEAUTY (in the living room). During the minutes my head was 'like the sun', he kept glancing in my  direction and with shooing-away hand gestures, pleaded "don't do that I can't see you".
I had no idea what that was about and thought one day I will find the answer in some 'esoteric' book.
I had a variety of other types of  encounters with  the uncreated 'Sun', and sensed it had something to do with mystical realm,  but had no one to compare my experiences with . . .
By the time I discovered  (in 1994) "by fluke" that  I had  golden Light aura-field around my head and body, as well as finger-wide ribbon of blue light next to my skin  (& still have that journal scribble), I was pretty certain it had something to do with  'holiness' and named  my Light aura-field 'Heavenly Robe'.
The confirmation from other (genuine) mystics began to trickle in:  I discovered Hildegard of Bingen,  Netherlands  Beatrijs van Tienen and Hadewijch of Brabant.
After that, Aurobindo's work confirmed for me what no other author could.  The following - in his words - a perfect verifying example of  my Solar Heart Initiation:
The meeting of God and man must always mean a penetration and entry of the divine into the human and a self-emergence of man in the Divinity. But that emergence is not in the nature of annihilation. Extinction is not fulfillment of all this search and passion, suffering and rapture. The game would never have begun.

I  have the courage to assert that I bear witness to true spiritual knowledge of  Divine Reality.  I have the courage to say I became more than human.
 I read that  one who attains Divine Union with the Uncreated God-Radiance is received by a 'completely purified saint'.
Soul-level experience is the ascended mystic's Depth data,  and the birthright of every evolving soul.
 Those of us who already ride this  Cosmic Solar Heart frequency bear witness to this Truth. This is why  we wish to remind anyone who wants to hear this: 'Your eternal Soul is timeless,  and  sooner or later She will fulfill her ancient plan with your co-operation, but not before you go through the Baptismal of 'Purifying Fires' (Kundalini Shakti style).
I am getting weary but will give another example of what 'penetration and entry of the Divine into human and self-emergence of man in Divinity', was like for me circa 1994 during hands on energy balancing practice (in a room full of people).
What I felt  words can describe, but  can never convey what it really feels like to experience: 
 "The descent of Peace (Sat) the descent of Force or Power (Chit)  the descent of Light, the descent of Ananda, these are the things that transform nature. It is not really the plane that descends, it is the Power and Truth of it that descends into the material and the veil between the material and it no longer exists. + "The Force descends for two things: To transform the Nature 2. To carry on the work through the instrument. At first one is not conscious of either working, afterwards, one becomes conscious of the Force working but not of how it works. Finally, one becomes conscious entirely and in detail." 
In words of one I named my 'primary peer review person', Sri Aurobindo.
Description:
 I was Soul-directed to become energy healer and became intensely devoted  to this Practice.  That day - circa 1994 -   amidst much laughter and chatter, in deeply meditative state I approached the (massage) table to practice hands on healing on our Teacher.
 Three other students were seated and having jolly good time talking and laughing about teens and their habits during vacation in Florida.   I was standing with hands lightly resting  on  teacher's  knees and within seconds my hands began  jumping with 'electricity' because there was a LOT of energy flowing through  me.  Minutes later my Crown chakra  became the channel through which  (what felt like)  a  wide column of  Energy began flowing into me in rhythmic waves. This was one of those 'first time like that',  moments  and I was determined to stay in this grove as long as possible  by  taking  slow deep breaths to accommodate this sudden influx of Divine energy.
Simultaneously,  I was irritated by the noise/voices in the room because even though it subjectively felt I was many miles away, the noise hurt my head - so   I asked for silence.
 Not even the woman  seated  at Teacher's feet  heard me. I asked  several more times before B. announced I was asking for silence.  At last  all was quiet and I became self-conscious of  my  breathing  and  silently asked this Force to stop.  Within seconds the  Energy Influx  wave-action  slowed down, then  ceased  altogether.  Next moment in a blissful daze I walked over to the other side of the table, placed my hand on K's  heart chakra and  whispered: "The angels really love you".
 "They love you too!", she exclaimed.   (We knew that  'angel'  energy stands for the  'Divine').

Edit-adding closing thought:
The Divine Light and its Treasury, or the Glory of the Absolute Supreme is at hand and is within. Nothing is given until the ignorance inside us fades. Saint John of the Cross reminds us:

Before this Divine fire of love is introduced into the substance of the soul and is united with it, by means of purity and purgation that is perfect and complete, this flame is wounding the soul, and destroying and consuming in it the imperfections of its evil habits; (*greed, jealousy, desire to have power over others, etc.)  and this is the operation of the Holy Spirit, wherein he prepares it for Divine union and the transformation of its substance in God through love. +
In thus allowing God to work in it, the soul...at once illumined and transformed in God, and God communicates to it its supramental Being, in such a wise that it operates to be God Himself, and has all that God Himself Has. And this union comes to pass when God grants the soul this supernatural favour, that all the things of God and the soul seems to be God rather than a soul, and is indeed God by participation; although it is true that its natural being, through thus transformed, is as distinct from the Being of God as it was before.

*Edit note:   I revisited this blog's topic  in the  'Epiphany Day' post - Jan. 6, 2010
  www.spiritspeaks-theofilia.blogspot.ca/2010/01/epiphany-day.html

Angel Winking Moment

A very curious thing happened while watching on Vision TV  documentary titled  Decoding Christianity   --  April 2nd  2008 --  during which.  just as the camera zoomed in on the face of  Angel, it winked! And I mean a real, full eyelid closed kind of wink, and thought some smart Alec electronically produced it.
Still it grabbed my attention and made a mental note of the approximate time that happened.  Afterwards, even though I didn't want to, I  made the effort to Internet-search the program's email contact and wrote a short note.  Quote:

"Was it meant for my eyes only that the town's (in Italy) square angel statue left eye winked at around 10:46/7/8 ish o'clock mark, or electronically simulated winking jest-moment? Wouldn't be the first time the Divine decided to supernaturally communicate its people-nearness."

I also included  my Mother's  synchronicity  moment-story:   "Mother Mary smiled to me" (icon-image i.e.)  which made Mom dissolve into Bhakti tears.
(Her friend Krystyna came over when Mom was still crying, and alarmed asked: "What happened!?" She described what transpired, and then "We both cried!".  She told me this story when I saw her in person the last time I traveled oversees.

Promptly, I received a note saying they are "looking into it."
Then, almost a month later -   May 1st. - received the following reply: "We're sorry it's taken a while to get back to you. We checked with the producers regarding your inquiry. They have conveyed that they did not  have the statue wink in the documentary."

Amazing Grace!

So what does this mean in mystical / esoteric speak?
Simply put both,  Mother Mary and the  winking Angel are personifications of mystical attributes of our  transcended consciousness'  and  its  creative capabilities.
It is the Great Mind's / Spirit / God-Goddess  way of communicating:   You are that in the stillness beyond the internal dialogue.  
It is like a wink and a pat on the back from our highest Self  telling us:  You are not alone, be still and know you are (one with) God, since the individual self is also the Eternal Self.

Was it Rumi who said something like:  When I stopped soaring with angels, what I became you cannot imagine.

This kind of logic has nothing to do with narcissistic  magical thinking, but instead,  it is manifestation of  the  evolutionary Cosmic  Power-Creativity  (some call Eros  or Spirit-in-action)  with its self-organizing / self - emerging (signs)   signifires,  urging  humanity, as it were, to remember  we  are an incarnation of eternity --  both as  scene and scenery --  and each observer is (also) the Cosmic Mind looking at itself  from unique view-point in space-time.

In verifying Abhinivagupa's words:  The Whole shines through by its own light alone, pervading everywhere, having all powers and eternal forms.

We Live by the Spirit, Let Us be Guided by Spirit

"Mission is a Spirit event -- it is God's mission, not ours"

*

"Mission is not human effort responding to a commandment. It is not even obedience to the Great Commission. It is natural and spontaneous. Only after the Spirit fell did the disciples speak (Acts 2:4)"

Long before reading from Flame of Love (C. Pinnock) these words, I recorded the following from Jul. 27/94' - "The Mission dream! I was flying around with my arms streached out telling people they are divine. "You are divine! You are divine!" People kept disapearing - not ready to hear it. One blond girl rose up from sleep and sobbed with joy. We embraced!" (I was very blond when little:)

My little self once drew a large circle in the ground, then stood gazing at the star-studded sky.... Almost trembling - so intense was her wanting to know something. . . Something, for which I didn't even know how to ask the question. Yet.

"Who am I? what's it all about this majestic beauty?"

In 1990' during one hell-a-va loud and heated philosophical - my, "WHAT IS REAL TRUTH! WHAT IS BEAUTY!" hollering exchange, between myself and my best friend, my best husband in the world who wanted nothing more than for me to be happy.
It had nothing to do with him, but I was not to be outshouted. . . Some minutes later he suddenly got all quiet, walked over to the far end of the room, sat on the couch, and with quick glances in my direction and a shooing-away hand-gesturing saying "Don't do that, I can't see you".

When the dust setlled some minutes later, he said "Your head was like the Sun, I couldn't see you." I was surprised what that was about. Deciding to find a book which would explain such phenomenon. I thought a book on something "esoteric" would disclose what's what. I tried, but not very hard to read this and that 'Buddhist', to no avail.

Not like reading books was at the top of my list with all I had to do in way of raising my familly, with twin sons only 5 at the time. The meal making, canning and freezing garden-grown vegetables. That, and a million other jobs around the house I didn't exactly have much time to read. But read I did. Some. Mostly at night since for many years we didn't have a television.

From time to time I would ask him to describe what he witnessed that day. But it wasn't untill years later it suddenly occur to me to ask, "how long was my head lit up for?".... To which he responded with irritated "Why are you always asking me about it? I don't know , three or four minutes." He just wanted to have a normal and happy wife!

Wellhell, asking only because I never heard such a thing. But by then I knew it! Because one day, just as my hand reached out for a pillow, the inside of my head lit up like the Sun. 'Wobbling' at first because it was so startling, then filling the walls of my awarenss with pure golden brightness. Then confirmed later by something I read in Three Pillars of Zen, by Roshi Philip Kapleau, by the following passage from the chapter on Enlightenment Experiences.

"Not after this I went to a zazen meeting at which Yasutani roshi delivered a teisho on the "Three Gates of Oryu," a koan from Mumonkan. At one point he was saying: "How does your hand compare with the hand of a Buddha? Reaching out in your sleep for your dislodged pillow, instinctively you recover it. One's whole being is no different from this timeless hand. When you truly realize this, you will spontaneously burst into laughter."

Will add to my above pillow - retreving moment, that when I woke up the pillow was still under my head - with right hand next to my face.

Synchronicity is a revealment of "not two" - of, God's winking!

Spirit-talk / Inner Gold

It was you who formed my inward parts;
you knit me together in my mother's womb.
I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Wonderful are your works;
that I know very well. (Ps 139:13-14)

"Spirit can be viewed as a ballet dancer who leaps into the air and lands in perfect balance in relation to a partner."

"Spirit is at work in the world and not "an ornament of piety."

"The world does not know or receive the Spirit (Jn 14:17) There are powers of resistance with whom the Spirit is locked in mortal combat."

Quotes from Flame Of Love A Theology Of The Holy Spirit, penned by Clark H. Pinnock.

AMEN to that! What attracted me to this, plucked from library shelf book, was the art cover of bright flames (within which) a white Dove in-flight....Many times witnessed in-vision.

Way back when, when still in an elementary school my indignant little self got hot under the collar when the Communists decided the (on main wall hanging) crucifix - was to be no longer..... I saw our teacher's sadness when she broke the news.

With my own lil' hands I gathered two sticks from the tree-graced school property at break, and with grass tie-fashioned a handsome, brand new crucifix! After school, when everyone was gone I climbed on the desk, to hide-hang it under one of the political dignitaries portraits.

So there!

By then my soul-self practiced - and mastered - standing on air by stepping off a chair with my 5 siblings looking on.
My, so-called "gymnastics" which I practiced mostly when alone, many years later (in Canada) found out that those body contortions were called "advanced yoga".... My favorite Summer hang out that was. My private 'niche' in the spacious back garden was this ledge. A shelf-like strip of land where the land dropped off to a lower level sharply. Then again 'dropped' to even lower level....The very spot, when in dream body I found gold.

Just a short journal entry from "Jul.92' I was assigned an archaeological dig. Was extremely important, "famous" in fact, right in my own back yard." Sure looked like real gold, the pieces I dug up from the soil.

Go deep , and you shall find a Treasure not of this world.

Not According to Egoic Wants but those of the Soul

Feels a bit strange to be doing this since not till yesterday I didn't know I could have a free of charge blogspace...But thanks to Rev. David Graham, (Zoltan) who, used his most thunderous, email Durga-like holler convinced me to go for it. Not without my heel-diggin' and whimperings "but I'm such a computer illiterati! I still type with 2 fingers!" And, did whine "but, my mother tounge is not even English waaa!"

Be that as it may, here goes again . . .

One thing I know with uncompromising certainty, is that acting in concert with Universal Harmony opens the doors of Liberating Possibilietis imparting directly one's soul with Divine Vitality.
In this blog I will attempt to convey the how's and why's of my spiritual awakening journey. Seems odd, because not so very long ago (17 years ago) I wanted to live in a forest "away from the insanity of the world, make my own soap and write children's books ... ". It didn't pen out, though we tried and tried.
Living a simple life without any whatsoever aspirations after worldly goods, deeply yearning to see "a sane world one day."

I did keep a bit of a journal from which I'll be quoting some 'otherworldly' events. From the perspective of Walker of Both Worlds, event - experiences, which I never in my wildest imagination thinking one day I will be sharing.
In a more or less chronological order, but not without first sharing my "Angel winking moment" from last year. Yes, an angel statue winking story, which I can quote directly from my email correspondence, which is self-explanatory. . . A gentler version of "Durga's" promptings?

Dated Apr. 2/08' I wrote to Decoding Christianity ppl. after watching on Vision TV program on Angels asking, "Was it meant for my eyes only that the town's square (in Italy) angel statue left eye winked at around the 10:46/7/8 ish PM o'clock mark. Or, was it computer simulated winking-jest moment? (it was a full/complete eyelid closed 'wink') Wouldn't be the first time the Divine decided to supernaturally communicate its people-nearness..."
Adding my Mother once watched Christian iconography on TV and Mother Mary's image beamed her a smile releasing the flow of bhakti tears. "I was still crying when Krystyna (friend) came over asking alarmed "What happened?! What's wrong!?" . So she told her , "And then we both cried!"

I received their response 2 or 3 days later - "We are looking into it".
May 1st, a short reply from Decoding Christianity ppl. "We're sorry it's taken a while to get back to you. We checked with the producers regarding your inquiry. They conveyed that they did not have the statue wink in the documentary."

Mother did pray to Mother Mary every night. On my last visit overseas I witnessed a tender Mother / Mary moment. Her friend had just returned from a visit to some holy sight bringing Mom a small, white ceramic bottle of Holy Water in a shape of Mother Mary. Mom's face radiant with joy ... She kissed it, then softly began whispering "My most beautiful one....".

Little Girl

I love that little girl who loved  to chase butterflies in the meadow
Daring always to climb the tallest trees. . .
That little girl, as frightened as she was, none-the-less
Crossed frisky stream by gingerly walking on fallen log
She made her own  shoes by cutting off tops of her rubber boots
Then right afterwards went for a run in freshly ploughed field! 

I love that little girl who at age of four got impatient
Learning Gran's prayers . . .
Declaring,  "I will dance for God!" 

She is all grown now with four children of her own
She still seeks mysteries of life. . . .  .
Still dances to the rhythm of her heart

And .  .  . oh yes!

That little girl will always be
Because she's me!


I quickly scribbled this verse in  August 3/85 while standing at the kitchen table.  I  think it  captured the essence of  the innocence and the  joy a child feels.
 Mom's  beautiful face  was all aglow  while sharing  this charming  rubber boots adventure story.  
We lived in the village  I was born in (home birth) for the first few years of my life.  In my minds eye I can see this  young Mother watching  me  from the  kitchen window:   "gallop in freshly ploughed field, your blond hair flying, not a care in the world!"
I loved it when Mom looked happy. . .Loved it, when she graced our humble home with freshly picked flowers from her always-in-bloom garden.

When I was a teen, my Gran told me the story about  (my) "I will dance for God!" declaration,  with  warm twinkle in her eye.